let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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