There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
