Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
