i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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