if only i could text you this smell
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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