East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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