is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
