you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
