I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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