I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
