So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
...so i touched it.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
