ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
