I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize