im gay
i know
yea but for you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
