my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
