so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
No subtext here. People are naked.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
