The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
