between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
