When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
