K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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