My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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