Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
