you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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