so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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