it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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