have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
