i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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