hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
