My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Randomize
