so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Found your dick twin last night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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