No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Two words: blizzard sex
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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