I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
