The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
