your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize