I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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