Where is the hickey?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
