i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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