My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
