No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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