I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
