why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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