It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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