I love black thongs
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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