There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
