Dual....:-)
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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