I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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