Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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