Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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