Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Terrible idea I love it
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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