the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
