look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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