I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
